Dear guy,

I think I still love you after all these times...
where are you again?

Girl.

I wonder... If we were to meet in other circumstances, would we love each other more than now?
Would we care about smaller things? Would you carry food for me? To hold my hands all day long, letting me rest my head when I'm sleepy. Be sorry that you think you can't make me happy, even though I already was?
You don't have to be a norse god, you just have to make me happy. Is it that hard to do?
I wish things were different for us back then, maybe I'd be happy now.

this time

Aah, so many things happened in the past few days. None of them concerned me much.

1. There was the Michael Jackson's big memorial service at the Staples Center where, if I'm not mistaken, his 'This is It' concert was supposed to be held. The memorial service alone was like a concert it self. My question is, was it all that necessary? To have that huge ceremony just to remember him? His life, his death? I personally don't get it. Okay, maybe I wasn't a fan myself, but... It was just too much. It was aired all over the world. It was like the headline news of every newspaper, the service alone. They made a casket supposedly out of gold for him to be shown there at the memorial service. GOLD? oh come on, get real... Had the world gone insane also when the King of Rock Elvis Presley died on the 70s? Of course I wasn't born then so I can't compare the two. I haven't heard the name Michael Jackson for years, and now it's all I've been hearing. On TVs, in my house. My sister's been watch in his videos all over and over again. I think the world is overreacting about the whole Michael Jackson's death in my own opinion. Did they make this kind of fuzz if Obama dies? IF! Oh my god, IF!

2. INDONESIA's PRESIDENT & VICE-PRESIDENT ELECTION DAY!! Argh how I WISH I could've participated on the whole deal! I really wanted to elect you know. It's a big deal for me. Once you reach the age of 17, you'll get you're ID card, you can apply or driving licence, you're legit, practically a grown up, and... YOU'D GET TO VOTE! But unfortunately, since I'm a late bloomer, I was born December, I didn't get my chance to elect. It's a pity because I actually CARE about the whole deal, about the country's future. Unlike people who was just like... "fuck this shit, I'll just pick whoever looks better," or didn't participate at all! What is up with my country. Okay, maybe the election thingy wasn't as big of a showdown unlike Hillary Clinton and Barrack Obama. Our country's president maybe isn't going to be much of a change to the worldwide, but it's still important. I don't get it why people act like it doesn't concern them at all. I just don't understand the mind of Indonesian people. Most of them are stupid and lazy, and they just don't want to change. I'm Indonesian, I'm lazy, but I WANT to change so badly. [okay, this one, concerned me so fucking much]

3. I found my old collection of Queer as Folk. The series that changed my life's prospect . My way of thinking. My point of view about other people. The reason why I have no problem with that kind of lifestyle. I re-watch. Yes, I actually RE-WATCH them a whole season. It does not excite me the way it used to. I mean don't get me wrong, I don't get excited over... those kinds of movie. But, the way the story goes, the couples, finding out the new episodes, it excites me. Not because the scene. Come to think of it those scenes weirded me out now, haha. I dunno how the hell I could stand them back then. Hmm gotta watch it later haha

Something I Can Never Have Was Based on Lies

I grew tired of you.
I thought you were better than any other guys I knew. You were so sweet and sensible.
You were attentive to both my needs and my feeling. You know how to calm me down.
You really understand what I'm talking about and you actually thought I wasn't stupid unlike the others. I hate the fact that I could never have you.
But I didn't know just how wrong I was. I was so stupid. Suddenly I was awake and realized this was just all a dream.
Just a piece of a fantasy made out of my mind.
Now I know, you're not that different. You're just the same as everybody else.
Couldn't believe I was so blinded. By what? By love? Definitely not.
I can see it clearly now, just how bad you are.
I grew tired of you.
And I'm glad you're no longer a part of my dreams.

finally a day with the family... I haven't been able to be with my family for about a week now. So now, here I am, residing at my grandma's house (from my mom's side, whom I have not seen for two months...) which is located somewhere in Tebet. The whole family, well, almost is here...

I have been in and out of my house for the last week, so this is the day when I am literally at home. Inside a building people called a house. It was kinda a very busy week for me... last weekends I had that wedding of a cousin of mine, and then on monday I had that trip with my friends to Ancol. Of course at Tuesday there was Koto & Dira's joint birthday, wednesday through friday I have to work on my presentation for Plasa. And then just last night, I have Nabila's 17th birthday party (which was AWE-some!)

Well anyway, here I am... enjoying every bit of moment of it. It's always fun to bee with your family :DD

three most important 'L' in the world

Laugh, Love, Life...
I just realize that the three things keeping human intact,
keeping them in sanity.
these three things, they are connected one to another,
and without one the others will crumble and fall.
Laugh keeps life and love colorful, not monotonous like.
No matter how successful the person could be, without the two others it'll worth nothing.
But then why do the mankind always neglect these three?
As if they are some kind of old toys that you don't use anymore and placed on the back shelf.
But also like old toys, they will always be there and cheer us up when we need them.

. . . .

an innocent foolish girl, or maybe just naive, looked around at her surrounding and felt lost.
she seemed out of place. she was alone. she didn't know what to do.
not a long ago she was playing up in the hills, with friends her age.
with breeze brushing through her hair and a field covered with carpet of lavender.
she closed her eyes.
and then her friends were nowhere to be find. replaced by a few adults that she didn't even know.

she searched for them desperately. she cried a hundreds of time. but there were no answer still.
little did she know the adults were her friends.
they grew up as time goes by, but not her. like peter pan, she never grow up.
but when she finally did, it was too late. her friends were gone and she was all alone.
so the little girl cry once more. because that was all she could've done...

lalalalalalaaaaaa~

I just notice something!

I've made about... oh 6 posts, and I have not yet introduce myself, hihi. what a fool!
Alritey then mateys. Let's get it started.

First things, first. I am 16 years old, just turned 16 like... 4 months ago? Yeah, I'm one of the younger ones in my year, of course there are people younger than me. I'm in 11th grade, but now preparing for the tests that can make me go into the higher level. So not ready for that one yet.

I'm Indonesia, pure Indonesian, I speak Bahasa but rarely like to use it. I know we have to preserve our language, but I'm more accustomed speaking in English since my whole family is originally from 'Deplu' or might known as Dept. of Foreign Affair (I think, I dunno, my friend Erlangga told me). I'm oldest of two, my sisters and I are the total opposite of polars.



I'm never really that specific on things that I like. I listen to all kinds of music. Indie, Rock, Pop, Jpop, Kpop. I like them all. I used to only like musics (or just plainly stuffs) from America or Europe, just that kind. I used to... well, I don't like Asian things. NEVER. I liked F4 once but then thought it was the most embarrassing thing on my life. But then a friend influenced me with Korean stuffs. And then I start liking Asians musicians, actors, bands, etc again. As of for now, currently I'm in love with Koreans. *cough*superjunior*cough*. And loves Jason Mraz (not so much since everyone were so obsessed with him), Jamie Scott and the Town, and of course, Ms. Taylor Swift (LOVE HER!). But really, anything that's nice in my ears or my eyes, I'll definitely like it.

Other things that I like is: Drawing, Reading, and Writting.
I like to draw a lot. Like really a lot. Since I was a little kid, but just like a rough sketch of superheroes. I don't draw manga stuffs, I'm more to the western style on this one. But, I only draw when I have something to draw visually. I can't imagine things and then draw them. So now I rarely draw; bummer :S. As for reading, I'm a sucker for love story, because as I've written a few time I'm hopeless in romance. So automatically, I'm a sucker for Nicholas Sparks. But again, I read other stuffs too. I've written a few stuffs myself, but mostly just fanfics that are for my friends to read.

What else...?
I can sit in front of the computers for HOURS. litterally hours. I can... be very understanding at people. I easily forget things. I'm very messy, I forget things easily but I also have a good memory (it's a weird thing, my head is. haha). uhm, uhm, uhm.... that's all folks! haaha

why never ending summer?
Because summer is nice. You can relaz, and enjoy yourself. It's a fun season. End you wouldn't want fun to end in your life, would you??

Ciao people