Places to visit before I die.

For the past few days the thoughts of 'dying' came across my mind, not in a horrid 'I am hurting and I want to die' kind-of-way. But in a way that, if I would die someday have I done all the things I want to do? Have I visited the places I wanted to visit? Then again, I really don't know where I want to go either. That is why I'm making this list.

1. Disney World, Orlando Florida
I really don't think I need to describe why, because Disney World is always everyone's dream. I've been dreaming to go there since I was a kid. Disney just kind of stuck to me since I was practically a baby. Learned everything from it.

2. The Wizarding World of Harry Potter, Orlando Florida
Now this is where the magic comes alive. Years have I spent, ever since I started reading the book, wondering what butterbeer looks like. Or cauldron cakes, or firewhisky. And now! I can finally find out what it looks like. But if only I can get there.

3. Broadway Street, New York
Lots of people wanted to go to New York because it's the capital city of the world, or at least so they have said. But I want to go to New York because my love and fondness of Broadway. Even if I'm from Indonesia, where unfortunately our theater is not as awesome or as interesting as the ones abroad and very under-appreciated, I got to know a few classic broadway from my dad. Then I went searching for myself and I just fell in love with the whole thing. Especially RENT and Spring Awakening. More to that later. If I were in Broadway street, I'd go insane just looking at the posters.

4. Nederlander Theater, New York
This building is where they performed RENT for twelve years long. As I've told you before, I'm freaking in love with RENT. This place would be like a shrine for me. I wanted to see the famous 'Wall'.


5. Tarragona
The place is exotically beautiful. I can't describe it with words, just google it and you know how beautiful the place is. Besides, it's in Catalana and I have always wanted to learn to speak Catalan. The mixture of Spanish and French. it's beautiful indeed

30 shades of dark blue

hari ini adalah hari terlaknat.
kenapa?
karen hari ini gw melaksanakan ujian perbaikan mengukir gigi, sesuai dengan jurusan gw yaitu kedokteran gigi jadi gw harus bisa ngukir gigi. tapi ukiran gigi gw hari ini kacau dan porak poranda, mungkin tahun depan gw harus ikut pphb lagi. karena itulah hari ini laknat.

sekarang gw udah aman dirumah, lagi tiduran di atas kasur lipat super tipis diatas lantai karena kamar gw sedang dipakai buat kakek nenek gw tidur, sambil mencoba menulis. akhir-akhir ini gw lagi getol banget nulis, terlebih dalam bahasa indonesia. nulis emang hobi gw dari kecil, apapun yang terjadi pasti gw selalu nulis. tapi karena kesibukan akhir-akhir ini menumpuk, hobi menulis itu pun jadi sedikit terlantar...
sampai akhirnya gw liat tweet temen gw, ratri, yang tiba-tibe mention gw dan bilang dia bakal bikin novel dan lagi finishing touch. entah kenapa, gw ngerasa kepanggil banget buat mengikuti jejaknya dia. selama ini gw nulis udah banyak banget cerita. temen-temen gw dari dulu selalu nyuruh gw untuk ngirim cerita gw ke penerbit. ada tiga alasan utama yang bikin gw selalu ga pernah mau ngirim naskah cerita gw.

1. semua cerita gw itu tulisan tangan, rasanya males banget buat ngetik ulang semuanya.
2. entah kenapa gw slalu ngerasa tulisan gw itu private, butuh gw waktu 4 tahun sebelum akhirnya berani ngepost cerita gw di livejournal/blog.
3. semua tulisan gw dalam bahasa inggris, males banget buat translate semuanya (simply because i cant write in indonesia... seriously)

tapi karena teman gw satu ini niat banget sama novelnya, akhirnya gw pun iseng-iseng mencoba ngirim satu naskah novel kacangan gw ke salah satu penerbit buku yang lumayan terkenal... cuma dalam jangka waktu satu minggu, naskah gw dikembalikan dengan alasan yang sangat simple:

"naskah anda sangat bagus, tapi sayang sekali kami belum dapat menerima naskah berbahasa inggris maupun asing"

yang bikin mengenaskannya lagi, naskah gw itu kayak belum kesentuh sedikitpun. keliatan lecek abis dibaca aja nggak. jadi apa bener penghalang gw cuma karena bahasa aja? karena itulah sekarang gw getol getolnya nulis pakai bahasa indonesia... aneh banget rasanya, beneran deh gak bohong.

intinya... mudah-mudahan novel gw selesai cepet (kali ini dalam bahasa indonesia) dan diedit, dikirim, diterima, terbit. amin.

bonjour~

baru buka blog ini dan sadar kalau blog ini sudah sangat terlantar dan tidak terurus.
udah setahun lebih kira-kira nggak buka blog ini.
alesannya sebenernya simpel, karena tahun lalu tahun yang super sibuk. awal tahun sampe pertengahan tahun sibuk dengan urusan sekolah seperti: TO UAN, UAN sendiri, terus UAS. Setelah itu, berjuang demi universitas impian yang akhirnya nggak kecapai juga dan harus puas di universitas swasta yang mutunya hampir sama bagusnya tapi jurusan impian pun berubah dari kedokteran jadi kedokteran gigi.

Now, 2011.
mungkin gw akan mulai nulis blog lagi karena i really need a place to write. tahun lalu full banget tulisan gw di post di livejournal, tapi itu cuma cerita-cerita pendek aja. i dont know why, but it felt wrong to write about my almost personal life on lj, tapi kalau di blog ini rasanya bebas-bebas aja. out of trend, gw juga bikin tumblr. that makes it all complete, artinya gw punya myspace, facebook, blogspot, livejournal, twitter dan tumblr. and i conclude something:

myspace, it's a place for dying-heart musician. it's for posting musics and videos. trying to strive in the industri.
facebook, tadinya itu tempat yang asik buat ngobrol di wall, sharing foto sama temen-temen lo tapi sekarang itu jadi tempat ibu-ibu atau bapak/bapak paruh baya yang mau reunian sama temen sma mereka. akhirnya facebook pun jadi tempat orang tua nge -update status tiap menit.
blogspot, seperti yang gw bilang, it's a nice and better place to write. to actually pour everything out that had happened to you that day.
livejournal, berisikan fandom dan jutaan fangirl (termasuk gw) yang ngepost cerita-cerita fanfic mereka, plus tempat orang-orang design berkarya.
twitter; this is only from MY point of view... twitter itu tempat kita nyampah dengan apapun. awalnya sih buat beropini, tapi sekarang banyak sekali anak labil masuk twitter dan post tweet yang ga terlalu penting seperti 'brb' atau pun ngebash orang yang ga suka dengan idola mereka.
tumblr; basically it's just a place to post artistic photos and typographies...

itu cuma suatu pemikiran yang gw konklusikan setelah gw mencoba bikin dan mencicipi situs-situs jejaring sosial tersebut. inti yang mau gw sampaikan adalah, kalau misalnya gw mau curhat di suatu situs jaring sosial itu yang tidak sesuai dengan kegunaannya pasti aneh rasanya.
i have got to say... i really miss you, blogpsot. and i will write here as often.

being 17 is fun. way fun

T'WAS MY 17TH BIRTHDAY BASH

opening my birthday present....

and it was Super Junior version B poster, signed by all 13 members. i so love my friends for getting me this from ebay ♥ ♥

I love my birthday bash, my 17th birthday was the best birthday I've ever had my entire life, and I've spent it with the loveliest people. I love you guys, thank you for coming, I hope you enjoyed the party, and once again THANK YOU for the present ♥ ♥

i wanna bitch-slap someone so bad

know what? I haven't felt this angry. like really this pissed off.

I'm one who always keep my feelings to myself, those people who's said they've kept their feeling to their selves? Liar. Me. You never hear complaints from me. People always got pissed off, you know? like for other reasons, and they I came in without any issues, and they were all getting pissy at me too. buy you don't see me go pissy at everyone else over my problem, I really really bury it deep down.

If i can still hold on, I will, until the feeling it self go away.

anyway, that's not the real reason. that's just like... intermezzo and such.

So the thing is, I'm so pissed off that I want to kill someone. Like just seeing their faces make me wanna bitch-slap them so bad! Like everything they do, I would go... "wtf you bitch/bastard". No no no, I don't go on like this on everyone, just one person. Like... REALLY ONE PERSON! Honest to god I didn't want it to become like this, to end like this.

But, you started with... no reasons. Your reasons aren't strong to start. And everything I do was wrong, yet I gave too much effort on this already, is it not enough??

YEAH I WANNA BITCH SLAP SOMEONE.

no it's not you adityaaa. calm down hihi

I'll say sorry before hand. offended? don't be.
understanding? please do.

all my brain wants is: a rest

Freaking fucking hate mock tests!!!!

Okay sorry to barge in and dropped the 'f'-bomb after like... half a year hiatus hahaha. But honestly, being a 12th grade is no fun. It's all business. You study. A LOT. You have no free time, zero percent fun, and almost to no social life. All you do is practice, memorize, study, study, study, and more study.

Frankly, I'm tired. I'm at this point where I look fine on the outside, but I'm really tired. If you dissect my head, my brain, it would screamed for time to stop and let it rest for awhile. If I were to study, I could no longer digest whatever it is that Pak Nanang taught me during class. If you ripped out my heart, it would definitely tell you that I'm emotionally exhausted.

I've tried my very best to study. Like honest to god. But as a normal person, I also wanted to take a break and take these stuffs slow. And I do, I did.

But I just HATE it when people just... (this does NOT apply to everyone, but there are these kinds of species) rage out when they study. Like really... they just hate it when they dont understand things and get angry, and really really study as if they'll die if they dont. I mean... Hey, you want to study, good for you, but your jitty making me... annoyed! Like for FUCK sakes I want to let my brain rest here!!!! But anyway...

That's their problem and issue anyway.

I'm sorry if this post offended anyone, by all means, it's just a post, this is a blog.

But really, please... study normaly and dont go over the board. Think of you poor brain. I'm saying this because I love you guys as fellow human :)

love/hate relationship with math...

I am in hell.

Hell is math class and Lucifer is now go by the name of Nanang. That is my math teacher. And he
Is a pain in my ass.

I have no idea what had happened with him. But he sure is annoying as hell. He tried to be this fun and loving math teacher with weird choice of songs. But still he was cool, he jokes a lot. But now? He's pissed off all the time. It's like girls on PMS, everyday. Math is already hard enough, you sure don't need for your to be bitchy like half the time. No, rephrase that, ALL the time.

hate you pak nanang, but I need you.

If only I could release my book and sell it a million copy..

To make up the lost times.. I'm posting three posts for today.

A friend of mine, just released a book.

No, not some kind of teen-ish teen-lit that suck, or a short stories compilation. It's a book. Its well... it was intended to be sort of a clash between japanese games/manga and LOTR. And it's a freaking... trilogy? tetralogy? I dunno, it's 4 books. I got the first one for free.

The friend, more likely classmates, is a... well let's just say that he's the one person everybody just LOVE to hate. Because, he's weird. He just is. There's no other nicer way to say it. He's this... guy who wears hoody and stiff and all... "YO" with a very deep voice. And he's just WEIRD! Gawrsh.

But in truth, I really envy him.

He has the courage to pusblish his story. I have written tons of strories but I've only gotten the courage to post in livejournal now, after 5 years. How long would it take until I bring it to a publisher. And he must've been really proud.

He gave me his first copy, for free. I DUNNO WHY! He just did.

And yes, I've read it. It's really good. Not great or awesome, but just good. Though, the way he writes so casually really bothers me. But hey, he's good. I really envy him.

this time, for real.
CIAO

If given another chance to spend a second time living this world. How would you have done it? How would you have preferred it?

Would you change everything, re-do every action, every steps, every decisions you've already made into the better ones? Or would you have rather not change a thing?

Korean Wave Sucks

Nowadays, since the beginning of this year, this thing called or known as the K-Pop wave is really invading the world. And it's really bugging me!!!! Okay, I'm not going to be a hypocrite, I like Korean wave, I'm a victim of Korean wave. I love the bands, from Super Junior to F.T. Island. I knew them all, I know the lyrics inside out from their songs. But really, I really hate it when people who just knew about these stuffs suddenly like claiming they knew it first. It always happens and it annoys me! GAH.

I really don't like sharing this side of me, but really it's annoying. Especially that people who like them now (and being so crazy about it, like hell you can't believe) are the people who called me freaks two years ago when I started liking them. -___- supper annoying.

I don't know why they called me freaks back then, actually, you know, when nobody even know who Super Junior is (except Katie, Nabila, etc). I never went all out calling them my 'husband' or until now, I've posted about them only twice. I never wrote "OMFG I LOVE THEM SO EFFING MUCH!" or... bragging about them. So... why? They all did it! They're supposed to call themselves freaks then. Well, anyway, K-Wave is only a phase. Like the Japanese waves back then. I hope it ends.

Like soon.

Like NOW!

Woohoo here I am being my 16 years old self, bickering. Makes me look really shallow. But hell, I'm a highschool kid, I'm supposed to be shallow. haha.

anyway,
ciao bello

being sirened out of the building gave me the creep...

OH MY GOD THERE WAS AN EARTHQUAKE!!

I'm telling you it was very scary. I was at ITC to buy my little sister a new cellphone cos hers was busted and I wanted to buy dvds too. It was just an ordinary day. I was weighing my options which dvd I should buy... whining at my mom to buy me a silicone for my blackberry... thinking that I should order a fried duck for my lunch. It was just normal.

And then I was at the cellphone store/kiosk thingymajig and my mom were trying to get the lower, cheapest price. When suddenly...

dugudugudug

A turbulance? Hmm.. maybe it's the machine downstairs.

dugudugudug dugudugudug

Hmm? Is it me or it's getting faster? Ignore it.

DUGUDUGUDUG DUGUDUGUDUG! (everything was shaking)

EARTHQUAKE!!!!! somebody screamed!

everyone raaaaaaaaaaaaan out of the building. I ran as hard as I could and I realized my mom was missing!!! I ran back and grabbed both her and my sister out of the building. I stopped when I was outside. People running from upstairs, pratically terrified, scared. There was a sirene and such! It was chaotic.

It was terrifying... thank god my mom was okay.

What I don't get, people were actually excited about this. They said: "Oh, wow, my first earthquake!" WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU! This is my second. First I was at my house. It's not fun because it was scary my chandelier were swaying hard, I couldn't stand straight. This time I was being sirened OUT of the building. ITC is being closed down today. Oh wow. It was scary -____-

But I'm glade everyone is save.

Till next time,
CIAO!

I love to tweet away

'ello tweeps!

I don't know why but I am addicted to Twitter! Like everybody else are too. But it's fun! People are addicted to omegle, omeagle(?) now, but I don't think it's fun... It's creepy! Meeting people, unknown people online! Omg, it's just... creepy! What if they're like freaks or sex addicts?? Okay, exaggerating, waaaaay exaggerating. But I still find it a hella creepy. The whole deal about online live is not knowing people but atleast on livejournal they wont turn as creepy.

Speaking of which I'm now active on lj! I'm starting to post fanfics and what-not and loving it. Tweeting and LJ-ing makes me happy, chipper and a happy camper! Yeay.

Reading The Time Traveler's Wife, FINALLY. It has been on my list for months but I always forget to pick it up on my way to the bookstores (always ended up with comics -__-" what a child). I have only read like... few pages and it's already really good. It's very intriguing and well written, very light for starters. Hope I can finish it soon. I'll tell you all about it when I do!

I'm fasting and I'm going crazy

oh my god my beloved blog is completely deserted!
I'm sorry blog, but I have been busy because this is my senior year and I have things to do.

I don't know why I am not in the mood of creating something. I've stopped every hobby that I have all of the sudden with no reason as soon as I entered senior year. I have stopped drawing, reading, and now writing. Which is the worst! I loved writing, it's my life basically.

But... I don't know. There is nothing that can get me write. Nothing to motivate me.

Definitely not my love life. It's up and down the hill. Maybe I should just let it go? I'm very tired.

Why do guys tend to hold on too tight? Like WAAAAAY too tight. I'm talking about guys specifically in Indonesia. Or maybe it's just the things that only happen to me and my friends. They couldn't let us be. We can't have summer fling and then end it just like that with no string attached (which means: the whole deal doesn't mean anything) and then come back to reality because they'll get pissed off and such lalaalalaa. I can't see my friends who happened to be a guy, just because it'll make him jealous. Argh... seriously... it's... ANNOYING that's what it is!
sorry ended up yammering about unimportant things.
but hey,

I'M STILL ALIVE! YEAAAY

hihi.
Ciao people

Dear guy,

I think I still love you after all these times...
where are you again?

Girl.

I wonder... If we were to meet in other circumstances, would we love each other more than now?
Would we care about smaller things? Would you carry food for me? To hold my hands all day long, letting me rest my head when I'm sleepy. Be sorry that you think you can't make me happy, even though I already was?
You don't have to be a norse god, you just have to make me happy. Is it that hard to do?
I wish things were different for us back then, maybe I'd be happy now.