I regretted not crying at my grandfather's funeral. I didn't shed a single tear. Not a single one. I was so young at the time. Old enough to know that he's not visiting somewhere and never coming back, I know he passed away. But young enough to feel nothing when I knew he died, leaving me forever.
I was 11 years old.
He was sick for a very long time. He suffered from a lung cancer. So every penny that we had, we have to spend it for his medications, treatments and such. But he wasn't getting any better. And I was so upset that we didn't have any spare money to spend with and I had to miss a concert. Fuck was I thinking?
Now I cried every time I think about him. Every time his name crossed my mind. I miss him deeply. I regretted even blaming the fact that he's sick for the reason I can't attend the concert, fuck it was only a concert! I regretted that I couldn't do anything to save him, even if I knew there are nothing I could, being that young.
But I know he loves me still in spite of everything. I love him and I miss him.
I was 11 years old.
He was sick for a very long time. He suffered from a lung cancer. So every penny that we had, we have to spend it for his medications, treatments and such. But he wasn't getting any better. And I was so upset that we didn't have any spare money to spend with and I had to miss a concert. Fuck was I thinking?
Now I cried every time I think about him. Every time his name crossed my mind. I miss him deeply. I regretted even blaming the fact that he's sick for the reason I can't attend the concert, fuck it was only a concert! I regretted that I couldn't do anything to save him, even if I knew there are nothing I could, being that young.
But I know he loves me still in spite of everything. I love him and I miss him.
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